Do you have any advice? – Pete Domican, Linh, Adarsh Nalam, Nicola Twiston Davies, Duncan Dalzel-Job, Silvia Janska, Zarir 'Zed' Vakil, Cara de Lange, Emma Tian Williamson, Skylar Haven, Rob Wright, Rachael Ebanks-Gold, Janis Chan, Nika Talbot, Katherine Lambert, Helen Taylor

I always do something on my photography – even if it’s just 10 mins playing around in Lightroom / Photoshop. It’s a great distraction and a far better use of a mobile phone than doom scrolling.

Genuinely? I’m learning to lean into it, instead of trying to get it off me as quickly as possible. My habit is to deflect or distract, so that my discomfort is less vivid – if only for a while. But I’ve discovered that staying curious & trying to understand why the loss of control matters so much to me in the moment can give me a unique opportunity to disarm the stressor, so that I can regulate my emotional & mental states better, feel less stressed, & make better decisions. Please do get in touch if anyone would like to discover how to do that, too…

Great question!

Habits are key for me.

1) Start your mornings at a slower pace – no emails. Meditation, movement, a few lines of an inspiring book, breakfast. What we do first thing in the morning sends a message to ourselves. Either, ’your wellbeing is important’ or ’your work is important’. Even if you have 0 time, one minute of mindfulness just for you, before you get to everything else, is a gift that we all deserve. P.S. Big fan of the book ’Miracle Morning’.

2) De-clutter the desk and office. I do a ’Desk Reset’ every morning or evening where I take everything off the desk, clean it, and then consiously replace only the items that I need for the next day.

3) Shift from mind to body at several points through the day – even if it’s just by noticing the feeling of a warm cup in your hands during your tea break, or the the wind against your face when you get out of the car. This is especially helpful when your alarm bells have gone off. Even when everything feels chaotic around us, that stillness within us is always there and accessible.

4) When you notice the signs of stress bubbling up, stop. Not stopping is akin to self-harm, and frankly you can’t do your best work like this. So don’t keep pushing. Take yourself away from the source of stress. Do some deep breathing. This activates the calming parasympathetic nervous system so that we’re better able to access the logical parts of our brain. A much better place to be if you have a problem to solve!

For me, it’s two things, writing out what I need to do (and how long it will take) and most of the time just starting to feel a bit more in control. And the other thing is genuinely playing a game, thankfully due to lockdown, I’ve always had someone around lately to play as it means I’m totally focussed on that thing and all other thoughts are pushed out (which helps get perspective) 🙂

Agree with a lot of tools already mentioned. I believe in Cara de Lange comment on not seeing your time as ”work” is crucial to reframe and give you agency over all of life. Also a fan of Miracle Morning – which I am currently doing as a bit of a reset. Meditation plays a huge part of managing my stress/wellbeing. Currently, I’m listening more to body – not just for physical well being. If I’m stressed, being aware of the sensations in my body and what it is trying to tell me and adjust/adapt my hours/days accordingly. Walk in nature helps/taking in a breath of fresh air in the garden if short on time!

Acceptance.

Honestly, I’ve tried so many things and spoken with several people that lead me to believe that it’s a very individual process. The first step is to work out where the stress is coming from. Yes, you can regulate your body by breathing or self-soothing and your mind through focus and decluttering, but these are only stopgap solutions if the problem is emotional. Also, it helps me to think about my relationship with that experience of stress.

Frustration with poor customer service differs from stress from a breakup, which, in turn, is distinct from having trouble at work. Slap in individual quirks, and you have a cocktail for a pleasant wee brain mush. For me, what works best is to sit down and let it all hit me like a truck.

My experience of stress has as much to do with my expectations of life (or a stress-free life) as it does with whatever is going on. As I feel the sensation wash over me, my brain seems to recognise that what’s happening is not fatal or threatening but the mere consequence of dealing with 21st-century culture and tech using 5000-year-old hardware. Therapy helps, banter is excellent, a laugh is gold, and exercise is easily my favourite option (until I numb with it).

In summary, this life business has many things on, and the forced idea of transcendence is toxic. We’re fornicating, defecating, and fearful mammals just as we are creators of institutions and ideas. Leaning into reality is a lot less stressful in the long term than soothing the inside with trinkets of assurance. Yes, work is nice – it pays the bills and offers us a chance to dabble with meaning, but hyping it to the status of a higher purpose can leave us tired. Every kitten needs a ball of wool and I am grateful for it, but there’s only that long I can keep pawing before I wonder why.

To finish up, here’s some Mark Manson gold dust: “The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” Link: https://markmanson.net/feedback-loop-from-hell